I admit I am a control freak. That I need to control every situation. It is weird and I really hate it.
Yesterday I was thinking about a friendship that had really suffered in the past year and a half. I miss that friend. I realized that part of the reason for the break down of the friendship is she was not being the person I thought she should be. I was angry and upset that she was lying to her family, that she doesn't spend enough time with her kids and that she was turning into someone I don't know. Truth be told she has always been a social butterfly and has the need for lots of people surrounding her. While I still think she lacks with parenting skills I do believe it was what she learned from her family life growing up. She really knows no better. With the lying to her family - it is essentially their family make up - it is how they make it through. Strange, I know but in the end it is HER life not mine and as she makes her bed she must lie in it when things blow up in her face.
I sent her a message via facebook and told her that I was sorry for things and that I loved her and missed her. She responded with the same feelings so a bbq is planned for the weekend.
I realized that I don't want to be talked about and judged so why do I feel I can do it? Even at 41 I am still growing up.