Saturday, July 24, 2010

Working It Out

Sometimes I find it hard to follow through with my goals. Not because I can't do them but because fear of failure sets in. And then some time later in my life I hear the words in my head "I should have....". It scares me because I want my design business to take off. I don't mean I want to be worldwide, I just want to do stuff locally for a while and think big later.

I wish I had more confidence in myself and could guide myself on the right path.

With my new goals I am going to push myself harder than I ever have before. I've been offered a phenomenal chance to be taught by a professional tailor and I know I can gain so much from it. I've decided I will contact him this week and see when we can arrange a time for my first lesson.

That will take a lot right the but I will do it.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

He Makes Me Proud

For a few years I went through a phase where I almost couldn't be in the same room as my middle boy as we would bicker and I hated it. I missed my happy go lucky boy, I missed the kid that lived for sports and bike riding, I just plain missed my kid.

This was MY boy.

When my ex and I separated he was just about 5 months old and I got to enjoy him alone without an interference. I cried his first day of school even though 3 went before him and 1 after. Even through issues with his dad begging him to move in with him, he still stayed with me. Even when they tried to pretty much brain wash him into leaving and going there, he stayed. He loves his step dad a lot and I think that played a factor in him staying.

This past 3 months has been full of trials and tribulations for our family. My husband, literally our family's universe,had 2 strokes. When he was told he couldn't work we worried about money. This man-boy stepped up got a full time job and helped pay the bills. He does without to give to us.

Today, he bought a car because ours died four months ago and the money is just not there. He says it is OUR car. When I try to say I will give him money towards it, he refuses. I will pay half the insurance however. There are no ,ifs ands or buts about it.

But still he makes my heart swell with pride. I can't believe the man he is becoming. I can't believe the love.

But I do know - this it my BOY.

Love you J with all my heart -you will never know how much this has meant to us. ~Love Mom

Saturday, July 17, 2010

One Year Plan

Last year in August I set goals for the upcoming year. I knew I wanted to get my business up and running. I wanted to launch my clothing line locally. I wanted to have an awesome fashion show. I wanted to promote my fledgling business.

None of that really happened and it upsets me.

While there are a few things that are beyond my control. other things I could have went ahead with and NOT procrastinated for months on end. I made excuses as to why I couldn't succeed.

And you know what?

I am tired of the bullshit. Tired of not believing in myself.

I can do this. I will do this in the up coming year AND I am adding in one more goal - To have 3 permanent clients in my alteration side of business.

Given I've been thrown for a few loops I am still here looking up and standing tall and that's all I need.

~Necessity is the mother of invention.~